Unsure Smile
by Katara-alchemist
Summary: Another fight over mortality and Alec leaves only to return to a drunken Magnus and the unwelcome sight of instructions for a deadly spell open on his lap. COFA compliant.


**AN: This is a short story that was written as a prize for Loveless-Doll on deviantART for winning a competition hosted by a Malec Fanclub. **

**I promise I'll get back to posting stories soon guys, I've just been super busy this summer! Hope you enjoy this one.**

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><p>"Magnus?" I said softly as I stepped into his dark apartment.<p>

I'd stormed out earlier, after another fight about Camille, and well…everything she brought up. The move had been quickly regretted though, but I had stayed away to think. I had always been better at thinking things through when I put a little distance between myself and them. Isabelle always said it was a bad thing, that I put to much distance between myself and things I had a problem with and that's why I was a failure at anything social, but it was the only way I could think.

I hung my jacket on the hook next to the door and slid my shoes off, wondering vaguely if maybe Magnus had gone out. I hoped he hadn't. Going out probably meant he was in some bar or club that had the potential to be anywhere in the world and I could possibly go several days without seeing him again. And I definitely didn't want that. I hated spending time away from him and , sadly, that seemed to be the norm lately.

"Magnus?" I repeated, stepping farther into the apartment.

The only response was from Chairmen Meow who came over and pawed angrily at my leg, mewling unhappily. I smiled softly and picked him up,

"He forgot to feed you again, didn't he?" My question was met with an irritated snort.

Chuckling weakly I carried him to the kitchen and pulled out a can of fresh tuna for him. I set it next to his water bowl and then moved to go the bedroom. I figured I may as well go lie down and attempt to sleep since I didn't know where Magnus was. I could go back to the Institute, but that would probably result in a lot of questions from Izzy; I hadn't stayed at the Institute since before Magnus and I had gone on our vacation. Our ruined vacation.

But as I walked down the hall I caught site of the door to the small den. The TV was on inside and a newscaster was talking softly. The glow from the TV shown out through the small crack in the door, shooting colorful light rays across the carpeted hallway.

"Magnus?" I said again, stepping into the room.

I frowned at what I saw. Magnus was passed out on his fluffy pink couch, multiple cups and a couple bottles lying on the coffee table in front of him. He was covered in multiple spell books, including the Book of White, all open to various pages. Stepping into the room I gingerly picked up a discarded cup, sniffing the contents warily. Six centuries had taught Magnus to hold his alcohol well, and I wanted to know what had managed to get him to the point of pass out drunk in potentially less than ten glasses. The acidic smell of fairie drinks was what I found and I made a face, gathering the rest of the cups and empty bottles. Leaving the room momentarily I dumped the cups in the sink and the empty bottles in the trash.

Next I was going to deal with the spell books; I knew how valuable some of them were. And how dangerous. I started with the Book of White, gingerly picking it up and putting it back in one of Magnus's "safes" which were really just specially enchanted areas of the apartment. I know he normally kept the Book of White somewhere a lot safer, somewhere I didn't know about, but it would have to do for now. I placed the rest of the valuable books in the same place until only one was left. I noticed as I picked it up that it was in English, and extreme rarity when it came to spell books. My attempt to bite back my curiosity failed and I sat down on the edge of the coffee table to read the page it had been opened to.

But when I saw what the page was I inhaled sharply and almost wished I hadn't looked. The page described a spell used to make warlocks mortal again, something my training as a shadowhunter had always described as impossible. Not only did it describe how to do it, but it repeated over and over again how dangerous the spell was. Death would've been a relief compared to some of the ways the spell could go wrong; the inability to ever heal or be healed again so that even the tiniest cut would eventually kill you, being sucked into the demon realm, being turned into a demon, and so much worse that I couldn't even read all of it.

"You're home." A slurred voice mumbled.

I looked up and saw Magnus looking at me through half open, bloodshot eyes. I swatted at the tears forming in my eyes. How could Magnus even consider doing something like that to himself? It couldn't…it couldn't be because of me. It couldn't.

"Yeah, I'm home." I said, shoving the book aside and standing up, "We need to get you to bed. I've never seen you this drunk."

"I love you." He grinned, giggling a little and hiccupping.

"I know. I love you to." I said softly as I reached down to help him up. He wrapped his arms around my neck, but refused to actually stand. "Magnus, come on, you need to go to bed."

"Carry me?" He grinned up at me with wide eyes.

If it wasn't for the bloodshot eyes, smeared make up and strong smell of alcohol on his breath he probably would've looked pretty…well, cute. Not that that word often applied to Magnus. He was usually more accurately described as wild or hot or sexy or something of that sort.

"Alright, I'll carry you." I acquiesced, but he wiggled away as I moved to put an arm under his legs. He still managed to keep his arms around my neck though.

"No. You have to promise to stay." He looked up at me determinedly. Well, as much as he could manage to do so as drunk as he was.

"I'm not going anywhere, Magnus." I told him, tenderly kissing his forehead.

He smiled triumphantly and let me scoop him up from the couch. As he nuzzled and sloppily kissed my neck I carried him to our room and set him down on the bed. He sprawled out, snuggling into his soft yellow comforter. I smiled a little; despite how drunk he was, he was being pretty adorable.

Moving forward I pulled his belt off in an attempt to get him at least out of his pants and shirt; he'd be upset if he ruined them by sleeping in them. But of course I couldn't attempt to strip my drunken boyfriend so he could sleep without consequences. As I tossed the belt to the side he sat up and pulled me into a drunken kiss. I kissed back as I unbuttoned and took off his shirt, it would be easier to just play along.

"I want you, Baby." He mumbled against my mouth.

"In the morning." I told him as I slid his pants off.

"But I want you now!" He pouted, trying to glare at me.

"In the morning." I repeated, kissing him softly. I knew full well we wouldn't be doing anything in the morning, and considering how drunk he was, potentially the afternoon as well.

Stepping away I stripped down to my boxers, folding my clothes and putting them next to the bed. Magnus watched, still pouting.

"I love you." I told him again, gently brushing the hair from his face.

He debated for a moment on if he should keep pouting and then smiled a little, "I love you to."

"Let's get some sleep." I said, crawling into bed and gently pulling him down with me.

He nodded and curled up against me. His head tucked under mine as he tangled our legs together. I softly trailed my fingers along his back, waiting for his breathing to even out into sleep before I let myself rest.

"Owwwww." I groaned, slamming my head under a pillow.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a hangover this bad. My head was pounding and every little sound felt like it was being violently screwed into my head. I didn't feel like puking though, which was something at least. Thinking back I tried to remember what had happened last night… Alec had come over…watching TV…cheesy vampire movie came on…Camille had come up…we'd fought…he'd left… aaaaaaaaaaaaand… nothing. Alec leaving was the last thing I remembered.

"No more faire drinks for you." I felt a soft kiss pressed between my shoulder blades.

I dared peak out, not believing that Alec had come back. Last night was one of the worst fights we'd ever had. Which was probably why I'd gotten so drunk. I was met with two bottle blue eyes though, accompanied by a gentle smile.

"You, owww…" Even my own voice hurt.

"Here," He whispered, handing me a glass.

I sniffed it and realized it was a potion to get rid of the hangover; I always kept some around. Sitting up just a little I drained the glass and tossed it aside, quickly curling up under the blanket while I waited for it to take effect. I jolted a little when Alec crawled under the blanket with me, curling up behind me. Had I imagined the fight? Alec was never this sweet and cuddly after a fight; he was never really this sweet and cuddly in general. Not that I minded though, it was just that sweet and cuddly could get boring very quickly if there wasn't some spice behind it. And Alec definitely had spice to back it up with.

I was about to ask him what exactly _had_ happened last night when I felt his fingers start gently kneading the skin of my back. Moaning softly I leaned into his strong hands, greatly enjoying the special treatment. I might have to get hung-over more often…

About an hour of gentle massaging and soft kisses dotted along my back and shoulders passed before the potion had kicked in fully and my hangover was completely gone. It was tempting though to just say it was still there so that I could lay in bed with Alec like this for the rest of the day. But he apparently knew me well enough to know that the hangover was gone.

"What do you remember about last night?" He asked.

And I told him, figuring honesty was the best policy right now. I had rolled to face him, but couldn't make my eyes meet his when I got to the part about the fight.

"So…you don't remember looking through all those spell books?" He asked.

"No…" I scrunched up my face in concentration, trying to pull up the memory, but there was nothing to be found. "What was I looking at a bunch of spell books for?" The question was more to myself then Alec, since he wouldn't have been able to read them.

"Well, the one I could read—yes, I could read one of them, it was in English—it was open to a page about a spell that…that would make a warlock mortal again. But it was really dangerous and almost never worked." He mumbled, looking down at his hand that was picking at the sheet beneath us.

"Alec,"

"Why would you do that? Why would you even consider…? Why would you risk your life like that?" He rapid fired the questions, building speed for more.

Gently I placed several fingers over his mouth to give me time to answer, "I would, and have been considering it because I love you. Because you mean the world to me and in my nearly seven hundred years of being on this planet I have never wanted to stay with someone, or loved someone as much, as I do you." I shot him a gentle but stern look to keep him from interrupting, "As for that specific spell, I know which one you're talking about, and that isn't one I would ever consider. I don't know why I had it open to that page. I wouldn't be able to do it if I was drunk and not thinking straight either, in case you were wondering."

"But…you _would_ become mortal for me?" He looked at me, confusion evident in his eyes, "You'd give up immortality for me?"

"After seven hundred years, Alec, there's not much more I really need or want to do here. Except for love you, and grow old with you. That is the only thing I want now. I've had my time, more than enough of it, and in that time I was lucky enough to meet you. Now I just want to be able to stay with you."

"But…what if, what if…" He trailed off, not able to say what he wanted.

"What if you're not the one?" I filled in quietly.

He nodded, the angry little frown he got when he was upset was puckering his mouth.

"Alec, you _are_ the one. I know you're only eighteen, and I know you've never fallen in love before, let alone like this, so you don't really have anything to compare to, but trust me when I say that our love is more real than anything else. After seven hundred years of trying to find someone, anyone, I could even consider just a friend, I know what real love is. And I know that it's what I have with you."

He stared straight at me for awhile, his eyes searching mine. And I let him do it; I had no secrets from the man I loved. Eventually the small frown was replaced by an unsure smile as he leaned forward and gently kissed me. I could live with an unsure smile, it at least meant I had _started_ to get through to him how much he meant to me. And all I needed was a start.

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews are love!<strong>


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